The Dog - By Anonymous

It’s like something that could only happen to Chevy Chase in a National Lampoon’s movie. I hit a dog. A handicapped dog, of all things!

Yesterday I was cruising through my buddy’s neighborhood when something more akin to a cougar than a canine flew out from behind some bushes. In an attempt to elude the attack, I foolishly sped up, only to hear a thud and a yelp and watch through my rear view as the black ball tumbled and disappeared behind the car. Oh shit.

Then, as if all those years of suspense-thrillers have taught me nothing, I decided to stop and check the situation out. The dog was, of course, gone. No sight of him anywhere. But a casual bystander, those that opportunely pop into a random scene of a film and end up unraveling the whole plot with some seemingly simple but in reality profound act or comment - my very own Silent Bob - pointed me in the direction of the fallen dog: an old lady’s house, complete with the old lady standing protectively on the porch. Before I got a word out, she reassured me: “it’s all right, he deserves it for taking on a car.” When the dog limped out from the backyard, still in one piece, I breathed a sigh of relief and we began to chit-chat.

When she got into describing the dog’s quirks, she casually mentioned it was deaf. It surprised me that she actually gave the animal any of her time and attention, especially in a neighborhood where gangs of strays roam the dirt streets, where dogs are definitely not a part of the family and can barely be considered pets, where they represent a cheap alternative to house alarms and security services. This is the type of community where dogs are unworthy of decent names, pure breeding, or baths, where my own friend’s mangy dog survives on a pathetic diet of her vegan cooking leftovers and takes off for days at a time. And here was this woman who evidently loves her dog and stands at the door of her house, ready to protect it from psychotic drivers.

So as an act of good citizenship (read: guilt), I promised to go back today and check up on the handicapped dog. This time, though, I’m parking a block away and walking.

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Anonymous, of an unknown nationality, is a student of an undisclosed major. It is not known whether he or she has any spouse or children, anonymous or otherwise.